why is it so hard when our kids start a new adventure with out us? Ava had some concerns this morning that were not addressed in orientation yesterday, and the truth is they are pretty insignificant but as a mom I don't want her to worry about a thing. I explained that the teacher would help her and let her know exactly where to put her stuff today. I am thankful that she was excited and kissed me quickly while I was still trying to throw out my words of advice and that she quickly climbed the stairs with her hand in her sisters as she boarded the bus. And yet now I sit, I am sitting here questioning if I have taught her enough, I am hoping that I have raised her to be compassionate enough and loving enough to others. I am praying that she will make a good little friend and won't feel lonely (and yet a little lonely, I still want to be her favorite person in the world). Trena starting school was such a different experience for me because I worked full time and she had gone to preschool, i had been in college when she was a baby, then part time work. Trena and I learned early on how to be separated from one another when she would go to her dad's for over nighters, and when she started school my mom and then Brent's mom too were always right there a mere five houses a way. We spend the first five years of our children's lives preparing them to start school, to have the confidence to not be afraid, and I have succeeded and yet now I worry about all the time that I didn't spend with my Ava doing the things that she loves. I know I am a good mom and that my kids don't feel unloved or deprived of my time, but still with the emptiness in my home at this time all I can think is now is the perfect time for a game of candyland...
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