I have always been a lover of many different genres of books, one of these being self help books. Embarrassing to admit maybe, but I am. You will find me reading these books with a notebook and pen always taking thorough notes. Maybe if I was that diligent in school I wouldn't find the need to read them now :) Two of these books that i have read and really really enjoyed and have continued to cause me to reflect are:
The Daring Female's Guide to Ecstatic Living: 30 Dares for a More Gutsy and Fulfilling Life
I read the Daring Female's Guide to Ecstatic Living about 2 1/2 years ago and I still find myself reflecting on something I read in it often. This book if I remember correctly did have some swearing just as a warning for anyone that may be interested in reading it.
Anyways one of the topics of discussion is basically finding your passion of what you want to do with your life. I feel that I wear many hats, but am I truly fulfilled, do I have a passion, am I just in a rut doing the day to day or do I LOVE what I am and what I do. The book discusses that you can do many things but you can only be great and completely devoted to one thing. I kind of believe this: You're not going to be the top lawyer at your firm, the best homemaker and the mom that never misses anything that's important, you would break, you would snap its just not possible. You could be a good lawyer, a good homemaker and a good mom, but you may always feel that you are lacking in one or all of these areas.
I LOVE being able to stay home with my kids, I love that I am there when they are sick, i am at every assembly, performance, church activity that they want me to be at. I can volunteer in classrooms, go on field trips, I can teach them how to write their name, use their imagination, read to them and tuck them in at night. I am in no way a perfect mom and this IS my job this is the career I have chosen and have been lucky enough to have. I know I should spend more one on one time with my kids, my house could be cleaner, I could cook healthier, be healthier, etc.
And yet I reflect, I feel that I am missing out on something. I used to work for Social Security Disability in Utah as weird as this may seem my job was stressful but it was extremely satisfying, everyday I left work knowing that I was really helping people that needed my help, I also knew that there were many people trying to get a free ride, but I was helping others. The day that I quit my job, as I was moving to another state and was about to embark on my journey as a stay at home mom I cried, I cried and cried. I cried at the thought of not having a reason to get up, get dressed, to go to my office, yes office, sip on my herbal tea and be someone important, to change someones lives.
And yet as a mom we have the opportunity to change someone's lives every day, we, I, just often fail to recognize this. I have two beautiful daughters 11 and 3 with a son on the way, they are my "disability claimants". My kids come to me every day to see how their case is coming along; am I failing, am I earning an A+, unfortunately I would say that I am only earning a C, there is definite room for improvement. Why do I fail to devote to "this" job what I would require of myself at my paid job.
When we are in our twenty's we have options: careers, families, travel the world, save the world, we can dabble in many things before we make the decision to settle down and start our families. I, like so many others in my religion was in a hurry to marry and settle down. Do I regret marrying young and starting a family, yes and no. I regret not taking more time for me, to find out who I was, to discover myself. I believe if I had done this I would feel more fulfilled. Do I regret having my oldest daughter at the age of 22, no! I do wish I had been older when I married and started my family maybe 28ish, but never for one second regret the joy and love she has brought into my life. Also if I had not decided to start my family until I was 28 my already hard long road to having children would have been even more difficult and I would have been completely unaware.
I wish that I had finished my education, that I had followed a career path. Maybe if my career path hadn't led to an office job it would have led to a career easily done with young children. What career path would I choose if I had it to do over, I had always contemplated nursing and teaching, both are pretty great careers for mom's, maybe I would have been a writer, or owned my own shop, a quilt shop or some kind of bakery.
The only thing I know for certain is that nothing in the world beats the sound of your child saying "mama, I need you" or "I love you". Some things in life just can't be beat. If I had it to do over would I do it differently; maybe, but not completely. I wouldn't change my choice to be a stay at home mom. I would change my choice to get married so young, I would take the time to discover me, to finish school, I really believe this would have made me a better wife and mom. I would choose a career and although I probably would not spend much if any time devoted to that career it would be an option for when the time came that I found myself searching, possibly after my kids are all in school.
We have so many choices to make that affect the rest of our lives that we all need to slow down and take the time to make the best decisions for each of us. We only get to make these decisions once and we want to have no regrets with the decisions that we have made, we don't get multiple lives to live out all the different lives we think we might enjoy. We need to be sure of our decisions so that we have no regrets and our children come out the winners.
Ok, I am climbing down off of my reflective soap box now.
I read the Daring Female's Guide to Ecstatic Living about 2 1/2 years ago and I still find myself reflecting on something I read in it often. This book if I remember correctly did have some swearing just as a warning for anyone that may be interested in reading it.
Anyways one of the topics of discussion is basically finding your passion of what you want to do with your life. I feel that I wear many hats, but am I truly fulfilled, do I have a passion, am I just in a rut doing the day to day or do I LOVE what I am and what I do. The book discusses that you can do many things but you can only be great and completely devoted to one thing. I kind of believe this: You're not going to be the top lawyer at your firm, the best homemaker and the mom that never misses anything that's important, you would break, you would snap its just not possible. You could be a good lawyer, a good homemaker and a good mom, but you may always feel that you are lacking in one or all of these areas.
I LOVE being able to stay home with my kids, I love that I am there when they are sick, i am at every assembly, performance, church activity that they want me to be at. I can volunteer in classrooms, go on field trips, I can teach them how to write their name, use their imagination, read to them and tuck them in at night. I am in no way a perfect mom and this IS my job this is the career I have chosen and have been lucky enough to have. I know I should spend more one on one time with my kids, my house could be cleaner, I could cook healthier, be healthier, etc.
And yet I reflect, I feel that I am missing out on something. I used to work for Social Security Disability in Utah as weird as this may seem my job was stressful but it was extremely satisfying, everyday I left work knowing that I was really helping people that needed my help, I also knew that there were many people trying to get a free ride, but I was helping others. The day that I quit my job, as I was moving to another state and was about to embark on my journey as a stay at home mom I cried, I cried and cried. I cried at the thought of not having a reason to get up, get dressed, to go to my office, yes office, sip on my herbal tea and be someone important, to change someones lives.
And yet as a mom we have the opportunity to change someone's lives every day, we, I, just often fail to recognize this. I have two beautiful daughters 11 and 3 with a son on the way, they are my "disability claimants". My kids come to me every day to see how their case is coming along; am I failing, am I earning an A+, unfortunately I would say that I am only earning a C, there is definite room for improvement. Why do I fail to devote to "this" job what I would require of myself at my paid job.
When we are in our twenty's we have options: careers, families, travel the world, save the world, we can dabble in many things before we make the decision to settle down and start our families. I, like so many others in my religion was in a hurry to marry and settle down. Do I regret marrying young and starting a family, yes and no. I regret not taking more time for me, to find out who I was, to discover myself. I believe if I had done this I would feel more fulfilled. Do I regret having my oldest daughter at the age of 22, no! I do wish I had been older when I married and started my family maybe 28ish, but never for one second regret the joy and love she has brought into my life. Also if I had not decided to start my family until I was 28 my already hard long road to having children would have been even more difficult and I would have been completely unaware.
I wish that I had finished my education, that I had followed a career path. Maybe if my career path hadn't led to an office job it would have led to a career easily done with young children. What career path would I choose if I had it to do over, I had always contemplated nursing and teaching, both are pretty great careers for mom's, maybe I would have been a writer, or owned my own shop, a quilt shop or some kind of bakery.
The only thing I know for certain is that nothing in the world beats the sound of your child saying "mama, I need you" or "I love you". Some things in life just can't be beat. If I had it to do over would I do it differently; maybe, but not completely. I wouldn't change my choice to be a stay at home mom. I would change my choice to get married so young, I would take the time to discover me, to finish school, I really believe this would have made me a better wife and mom. I would choose a career and although I probably would not spend much if any time devoted to that career it would be an option for when the time came that I found myself searching, possibly after my kids are all in school.
We have so many choices to make that affect the rest of our lives that we all need to slow down and take the time to make the best decisions for each of us. We only get to make these decisions once and we want to have no regrets with the decisions that we have made, we don't get multiple lives to live out all the different lives we think we might enjoy. We need to be sure of our decisions so that we have no regrets and our children come out the winners.
Ok, I am climbing down off of my reflective soap box now.
1 comment:
Bravo!!
Post a Comment